A few months ago, I considered the value of the personal essay in the age of oversharing and endless content. “Can you connect the personal to something more universal in a way that tells a larger story about these times?” I asked. And can you do it without drifting into solipsism? A common pitfall.

What I wanted to move on to – but felt unqualified to discuss – was how few men appear to practise this form, particularly the straight ones who talk about dating and relationships. (Am I wrong? Send recommendations, please.)

Is it because many of us are still incapable of articulating, in detail, our emotions about love and self-worth? Or we are unwilling to open ourselves up to judgment in revealing our flaws and fears? Maybe. Ladies often talk about “the work” that many guys would rather not do on themselves.

Some guys may anticipate a harsh reception in a world that is railing against years of patriarchy, a system that “rewards men for being out of touch with their feelings,’ as bell hooks wrote in The Will To Change. A seminal text from 2004 that still cuts through on such matters.

Look beyond the life coaches, influencers and experts who are prominent in conversations of this nature. Imagine someone who is a little less sure of themselves, who is beginning to confront uncomfortable truths and who aspires to write with greater sensitivity or self-awareness. How easy would it be for them to tackle the subject of sex or dating and evade criticism for either bragging or whinging?

Read more in Bluejeans & Moonbeams.

Also in this issue:

• Going solo in Porto 🛫

• The anatomy of a knockout

• Swipe left for lousy grammar

• Lola Olufemi’s strategies for resistance

• A soul-crushing Apple ad,

• Letter to a younger writer